30 Days of Blogging

The first of what will be a million packages coming in the next month.

In running a business the past 13 years I’ve learned to be pretty careful about where I spend our money. To me keeping the expenses low meant we didn’t have to raise prices, and profits go into mine and my team’s pocket, instead of into expense oblivion, the black hole of the struggling small business. For us throughout the years, increased prices as high volume simply meant an increased marketing budget and or doubled marketing and branding efforts. And that just wasn’t sitting well with me to keep this high volume portrait studio running as I wanted it to.

Now in this season as we start an entirely new chapter of being low volume, a boutique, I really wanted our studio loft to feel different and outrageously chic. A nineties meets Guess, meets beachy Anthropologie style vibe.
To put a visual to it, Kurt Cobain marries Kim Basinger.

In order to pull this off I knew I would need to invest in some really high end, yummy decor and wardrobe. You would think that online shopping for this would be a blast, and it sorta was. Thrilling, but….. I think over the years I have become more frugal and safe with our studio’s dollars than ever before. If you watched me shop you would think that with how picky and discerning I am, that I think I’m Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada.  I hate debt, in any form. I also want this exactly how I want this. A combo that makes that “checkout” button create a physical reaction.

Also though I do believe that debt is almost inevitable when starting a business. But what I’m doing now doesn’t really count to me as starting a business at it’s raw description right? I don’t want to be lenient in that area. So can I pull off doing this without going into debt? I doubt it. I just paid off my business loan from the first time I started. But I’m gonna try like hell to not.

See it’s not really the things I’m buying, it’s the business transition. That word that small biz owners totally understand….. cash flow. When it comes to a biz with lots of moving parts, longevity isn’t totally about incredible bookings, sometimes it’s just about cash flow when you need it most.

Come mid May the everyday shoots stop, and we still have full time team work to do changing things up. So technically all the expenses stay pretty much the same, with no income coming in until we get rolling again. I’m actually not scared of that, this is just one of those incredible opportunities where I need all the pieces to come together seamlessly. And I am not in control of that. I either have to pray that God brings it all together, or that I handle whatever lesson he has for me. Both are beautiful. I prefer the first.

At the end of the day I believe in our art and our unique experience, so the cards may fall super messy at first where our books are concerned. But because we always somehow attract the exact wonderful people who want to make magic with us, they will stack up beautifully- the cards and the books. And I’m comfortable living in the inbetween these days.

So after that rant here are the things I have been saving for and finally got the nerve to buy. One of many rounds. This first one I had to have quite a bit of wine to get me to pull the trigger on, but I am glad I did. I feel like if I show you guys these things, and you tell me how cool they are, I won’t feel like I just went on a bender and a shopping spree.

Isn’t she lovely? This 94 inch beauty is my inspiration for the main shooting room. My floor is similar to the one in the pic so that helped, and I’m in love with most all things dusty rose in color. I think only other photographers will understand the feeling when you get a new statement piece and you are dying to shoot on it. Once this decision was done, others were all the sudden easier. Below is a small sampling of the many, many things we will be using to make our new space everything we want.

Many of these items we purchased in multiple quantities of small, medium and large. We can’t wait to really, really style you gals for the boudoir sessions. It’s a nervous anticipation and I can’t wait for the day of our first consult to come!

-Marissa

So we’ve moved into our new place, it’s so so cozy and perfect for us and this season. I’ve never lived in something so big, brand new, and nice. It feels like a beachy, industrial, artist loft. Kinda everything I’ve always dreamed about. We get to enjoy it like this (see below), with all our worn out, loved personal things until mid May, when I really get serious about making it everything I would want for my little creative headquarters. I think Max is really going to be bummed out when I fill my home with things he won’t be allowed to enjoy. Like a new couch and colorful rugs.

The studio is technically still up and running until the first couple of weeks of May and then after that we officially move here.  We had to extend the time in the studio because of how many people still wanted to get in! Exciting. But a lot of work. If my shoot today hadn’t cancelled I would be on a 20 day photography streak, minus one Sunday! I love it! But that’s definitely a record for me.

A few things have happened from this streak. I see myself improving drastically behind the camera. From a technical standpoint, but also in what I feel comfortable asking my clients to do. Pushing them a little harder to get more movement and emotion. I’m not afraid to have them repeat something over and over until I get that shot we both will be really happy with. And with this new tactic I feel myself goofing off with my clients more. Having more fun than ever before. Us both laughing when we realize twirling over and over in platform heels is a tricky business. In those moments I never pull the camera away from my eye. It’s always the shot of her cracking up from almost falling that’s the winner. And when she hears me laugh too, she looks at the camera and laughs harder. Like, “funny right?!” I find it interesting that this is how it always plays out. Everytime. We humans are all so complex and different, but it’s beautiful how similar we can be as well.

Another one of the moments I love is her cracking up because she feels a fool that I asked her to toss a pillow up into the air and catch it twenty times. Or some other odd thing I’ve thought up. I tell what I’ve said 100 times in the studio, “I think the sexiest pics I have taken as a boudoir photographer are in the moments that my client feels the nerdiest.”

I am also shooting less. Well, taking less shots I mean. I’m slowing down in between frames to really get it right. So less proofs for my clients, but better images. I think that’s a total win for both of us.

There seems to be a buzz in the air about our changes with the studio. Every client that I’m shooting brings up our move and seems to really be looking forward to booking a beach session. This makes me really happy.

All of this shooting, all of this “closing down the studio” is a busier task than I anticipated. I’m not really stressed, it’s just that I am finding it hard to sit and write. Who would have thought a blog would take so much time? I had this pretty visual of bloggers waking up in the morning, sitting down with their morning coffee and just letting their thoughts and words spill out into their laptop. It’s not so much like that for me. I think it’s because I’m not telling a story about what has happened. I’m totally in the story now. So most mornings I’m still trying to figure out what my priority is going to be for that day and if I can find time for it after shooting and running a studio.

So I’m glad I said 30-ish days of blogging in the first post. I knew that this would be a lot and there would be days when I would either drop the ball or choose some much needed me time instead of writing. But I thank you all for continuing to show up and read this. I’m amazed at the amount of you that are checking in.

-Marissa

PS. Also I’m grateful that I got time to steal a sunset view after a stroll to Beacon’s beach. San Diego hasn’t seen this much rain in so long, and the Spring bloom is enough to make me want to just lie down and bask in it. I wish I could record what it all sounds like when the wind hits it. Swirling, light little symphonies that we aren’t used to hearing here in dry-desert-meets-the-ocean territory.

Today I had one of my best friends since childhood come over to “experiment,” or test light on. I’ve moved into the new place, and while everything photography and decor wise is still at the studio until May, I wanted to test the lighting a little. Praying it was as good as I expected it to be, not an easy thing to find in the photog world. Thank God it was. And more so.

More than that though I asked Holly over because I needed someone who I could unapologetically steal beautiful energy from. She always gives it, and she has enough to go around. So I take it gladly. I told her about my “Rise” portrait sessions, and how I wanted them to be so much more than a portrait, and she had plenty of thoughts about how that could work. And even how she could lend her sage yogi talents. Which I also plan to gladly take in big doses.

What was even more special to me about this shoot is that my buddy since age ten came over when I had just “launched” my first official “studio” in 2004.  A bit of hodge podge garage set up in rural Ramona. My first go at boudoir as a real business. I had just painted a wall turquoise, I still remember the palpable fear in me thinking my landlord would see it (I planned to paint it back don’t worry) and I needed someone who I knew wouldn’t judge for me for my new crazy idea and lack of a complete plan. When I was younger I had a lot of nutso ideas, and it seems the friends that went along with these wild plans then, are somehow still my besties getting on board to this day. Gotta love them for that.

When we were younger Holly was the first loyal, ride or die, “no I don’t think you are a freak weirdo” friend. We got each other because she, too, lived on acres in the middle of nowhere. But somehow managed to be way cooler than me. Our first ever conversation was over tiny desks in class and about how we liked to play outside more than inside. And that we were nervous about rattlesnakes.

Today we realized that growing up we lived about 3 miles apart in rural Ramona, California. And now in coastal Leucadia we still live 3 miles apart.  Which, to my new found horror, still has rattlesnakes. “Look at what we’ve done she said.” I just smiled. She was so right. I knew she was saying that we were exactly where we were supposed to be. And still together. Gratitude just bubbling up inside me.

I mention this because the universe meets you. God brings you sweet confirmations that only you can totally appreciate. Holly reminded me today in my tardiness and minor chaos of “testing” that I had done this before and it had been successful. How 13 years ago “I took a photo on that chair right there,” she said, pointing to my make shift dining room, and “look what’s happened.” She grabbed the chair and we reenacted the original shot for old times sake.

We talked about it being okay to not have an exact direction at first, and that experimenting on people who won’t judge you are the first steps. Toy with ideas in safe environments where you can get real feedback. It’s a bit of a messy process. As the best things in life are.

Sure you can watch and then simply replicate in this world. There’s no shortage of “how to” posts or webinars. And that’s all good and part of it. But creating an authentic experience takes vulnerability and trials and error. And that’s where people who love you come in. Honesty is invaluable. And constructive criticism can hurt, but it no doubt refines.

Holly is onto bigger things in her life. So this shoot was perfect timing for both of us. She too is creating an authentic experience for people on her own. The only way to describe today was kismet. I am a very grateful.

-Marissa

PS. I may miss a few more consecutive blog posts here and there. It’s 11pm, I started working at 7:45am, and I LOVE my work.  But my time today reminded me that I need to take a little better care of myself. Tomorrow I will be hitting the yoga class instead of blogging. I’m sure you are all so on the edge of your seat 😉 so sorry to disappoint. Much love to you all you dreamers and doers out there.

Remember that post where I said when I started working from home I wasn’t going to over work like I did in the past when I worked from home? Well it’s been tougher than I thought.

Yesterday and today marked some of the first days I haven’t had a shoot in the studio on a weekday for quite a bit.  So I had every intention of just checking my emails at my desk at home in the morning, then working out, then showering and then going to the studio. An acceptable 10 hours working day once totaled.

But instead what happened was I sat down in my pjs as soon as I woke up on Monday morning and then didn’t get out of my pjs. Like ever. 15 hours in front of the computer. Ewwwww.

Then I did it again on Tuesday. Upping my game to at least a shower and workout clothes. Sans the workout.

I would like to think I will not let that happen again. I have identified the problem. I bit off a little more than I could chew. Which is true. But I’m going to chalk it up to the fact that I am closing one business (more work than I ever imagined) and opening up a new business (I knew this kind of work, also a ton).

In mulling over being in over my head, it made me want to share with you a recent ‘dare to dream’-esq project in which in over my head was putting it lightly. But the right kind of in over my head that I can deal with on the reg. Let’s just say self confidence when it came to photo or video projects was never something I lacked. My mindset was always to just jump in and then see if I could swim. I never think I’m something super special, but I do think I am always ready for the challenge. Dive in.

Becoming a production company meant starting to toy with creating projects that were bigger than anything we had ever taken on before. I love video, especially music videos, and had done a few simple ones in the past. I love a musician in raw natural light. Up close, shallow depth of field, a gritty look. Straightforward and intimate footage. I feel 100% comfortable shooting that. So when I was given the opportunity to shoot a much bigger project, I gladly took it knowing that growth would be the number one reason. It intimidated me, so bring it on.

The song is by Angie Keilhauer, I’ll be sure to talk much more about her in the future, as I keep mentioning her, and she deserves more than just mentioning. And the lyrics did not call for a simple video. “Caught me going 108 [mph].” Hmmmmm. Sounds tricky.

The final video is almost done and I am excited to launch it in the coming weeks. It still needs one simple re-shoot that we have to wait for Angie to be back in town for. Funny how a 5 second clip can hold you up  that much in this world of storyboarding.

This project stretched me. We had a very fine tuned shot list that had scenes listed for 3 different days with specific times. Every second of this video was pre-planned and then coordinated into an excel doc so we would shoot it at the right time given the light of day, the people/cars/trucks we needed and if Angie’s hair would be up or down. And as always nothing ever really goes according to plan. Thank God I didn’t attempt an outfit change. I’m not ready for that cohesive editing complication yet! We had a 15 page google doc of logistics from to-do lists, packing lists, itineraries, equipment to rent lists, random stuff to buy, items to ask for like generators, flat bed trucks, and the needs went on.

The day of the shoot was the most chaotic and one of the most fun days of my life. Managing a crowd of 50 people, getting on a megaphone to tell trucks and cars where to drive at dangerous speeds, being cameraman and director equals total nonsense. Nonsense I loved and learned from.

Three major things that I took away from this gamble:

1. Don’t wait to take on something that feels impossible. This is the kind of thing I want to be doing. Projects that intimidate me. Yes it was a lot of work, but not only did I learn so much, I also have something I’m really proud to show off. And that I know will only help me take on other bigger projects.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. This came together and happened because of my badass friends that knew I was throwing in everything but the kitchen sink to up my game this past year. And my God did they step up and help. They came to production meetings, they drove RVs that I rented and was to frightened to drive on treacherous roads, they drove hours multiples times into the desert. They held things, and ran back for things I forgot. They told me I was doing a good job when they could see stress on my face. They laughed hard at me when ‘Marissa who doesn’t cry’ cried when her wide angle lens (my old faithful of 10 years) broke at the pivotal wide angle fast paced ‘truck-doing-donuts-shot’ shot and I was beyond exhausted. I cried over a lost epic shot. Lol.  An incredible drummer played drums, a shy non-bassist faked playing the bass. Even strangers we don’t know putting in hard work (see the behind the scenes video). An event planner I just met on FB helped me coordinate some off road forum logistics that intimidated me. Professionals came all the way out to second shoot. Why? Because I asked them to.In texts, in forums on Facebook, on phone calls. Kinda mind blowing. People are so good and kind. And it’s completely humbling and inspiring that so many would say yes because they saw someone ask. And I really learned to ask. Something I’m not entirely comfortable with.

3. Here’s my favorite lesson; betting on yourself and your strengths is the only kind of gambling that you should take. It’s thrilling. And in the end even if you lose you feel empowered. 

Here’s our behind the scenes video….

A very special thank you to:

Leah & Chris Depaola
Brandi Pim
Anna Johnson
Chris L Kuwahara-Smith & friends
Brant & Baylee Bolton
Brian MacKenzie
Josh Fisher
Heather Shanahan
El Camino Pete
Bret with the donuting orange truck
Justin with the flatbed and the cool trucks

And all of the incredible people we met on FB that came out and shared their time and vehicles and happy vibes! I can’t tell you how very much you made this such a surreal day.

Much love,
Marissa

Imagination is something I have always thrived off of. I grew up an only child living on 60 acres in beautiful inland countryside of San Diego. I had waterfalls, big mountains, and animals all around me. But not too many other actual kids to play with. On a typical Saturday I think you would find me barefoot climbing a granite boulder and talking to myself. Maybe once I reached the top laying on my back on the warm rock to absorb the last bit of the day’s heat. Staring off over ‘our land’ and feeling like I lived in a movie where the child was odd, but so content.

I think this is the biggest reason my imagination and mind’s eye became such a key part of who I am. The outdoors was my muse when I was younger, inspiring so many dreams about what I would create when I “became an adult.” So as I started to thankfully come into a place where I was ultra inspired again as I mentioned previously, I came to realize it was because I found serious inspiration to use my ‘really out there’ imagination once again.

I have two main muses in my life that make me to want to take their photo every time I am in their presence right now. One, as shocking to me as it might be to you, it was to me as well, is a country singer. And she is beautiful. I think she is the most unique, intriguing and disarming person I’ve known.  And I just love her so much.

I know right!? Who knew I liked country music ! 😉

The other is Leucadia, California. A neighborhood in Encinitas, San Diego. It sits cliffside over Beacon’s and Grandview beach. It’s home to many beach bike cruising friends, artists, musicians, barefoot sandy surfers, yogis, dog lovers, farmers market shoppers, and some of my favorite mom and pop businesses listed below. I’m surrounded by artists who love to create and enjoy this community as much as I do. And it’s done something for me. It’s magic.

Here are some of my favorites, let me know if I forgot one!

Seaweed and Gravel

Surfy Surfy

Coffee Coffee

Beery Beery (also known as Regal Segal)

Fern 

Vixen Boutique

Randoms

French Cafe

Le Papagayo (where everyone knows your name)

Bergamot Yoga

Leucadia Donuts

T.F.R. Gallery

The Farmers Market

Also home to many artists who do epic things like this above …… follow @daniellamanini_art or visit  http://www.daniellamanini.com/

Leucadia’s locally known slogan that is posted up everywhere is “keep Leucadia funky” and I framed my own design and added it to my kitchen last week.  I was trying to  think of how to explain what that means exactly. And as I sit in my home office and look over my neighbors place across the street, I know that they are all about that slogan. An older home nestled in between equally unusual, artsy, million dollar properties. They have an overgrown yard with whimsical flowers and greenery, kinda an English cottage yard meets beach town U.S.A. In the middle of the tall lush green and colors is comfortable patio furniture that they sit at mid day reading in bright sunshine. That makes me aspire to be them even more. They still have Christmas lights and they proudly turn them on every night. And they have some sort of wooden signage that reads, “together let’s change the world.” They keep Leucadia funky. I wanna be like them. And I wanna keep it funky too.

Since this place makes me feel alive and inspires creative freedom, I want to incorporate it into our brand and experience. Shooting on it’s streets, and in it’s local hot spots and better yet on its beaches. I swear everywhere you look this place has an interesting backdrop.

I think that sometimes we think of a muse as a person who emboldens us. And I love that too. But perhaps we can think more outside the box? If we had something that made us feel alive and curious, and then we infused that story and influence into our work and brand… I think it would take us to an entirely new level of art and personal fulfillment.

I’ve felt more inspired than ever lately. And when I looked up the word again it reminded me of that young child I was that felt so very influenced by all the beauty around me on family’s ranch. I also very strongly believe in a creator of this magnificent universe. I’m going to wind up this post with this specific definition that stirred me, since I think I used the word ‘inspired’ like a 100 times in this post.

I meant to have this for you bright and early as a fresh message to kick off the week properly. However, in this insanely busy season of my life, I have to give myself a little grace when things don’t go perfect according to the plan. Or when I get a little stuck in the desert. Literally.

On Saturday morning, what felt like my first non-rushed day in a long time, I sat down to journal. It had been a really long time since I’d done that. I wanted to write out how grateful I was for all the encouragement I had been getting in this new season. So many kind words, and so much interest for our new business. Greece filled up in just two days, so we opened up one more spot! And people are already booking shoots for our soft launch, one gal even flying in for it!

After I wrote a bit I opened up on of my favorite daily reads by Iyanla Vanzant. It was particularly meaningful to me because it seems to go hand-in-hand with what I had just written my journal, and how I was feeling. Like I had struggled and finally pulled myself up to the helm of the ship, and now all I had to do was follow the sky to stay on course. I had had a really intense game plan, and yes it’s been so much work to execute it, but I still feel like some small miracles have happened since the launch. And I believe God really met me halfway with this whole thing. I’m simply feeling very grateful and while I still know that the calendar is jam packed and need to work hard and stay focused. I don’t feel overwhelmed.

I had my season of craziness to get to this point, this point where now I just stay on track, let go and let God do the rest.  This whole experience has been an incredible reminder that I just need to trust.

Yesterday one of my bests, Tenley, and I headed out to the desert to get some images. It wasn’t meant to be a 16 hour day but it became one, and we loved it. We chased the sunshine around the canyon floor, got my 4 Runner legit stuck in the sand, dug a little, and hung out in the moonlight to get the shot that’s at the top of the blog and here at the bottom.

The night was so beautiful, warm winds, howling coyotes, and the feeling that something big was stirring. It’s simply one of the best feelings ever.

Thanks again for stopping by.

-Marissa