18- Put aside the math and the logic of it

September of 2015 I fell in love with a country singer.

On stage, at a local bar I heard a beautiful voice over an acoustic guitar that I knew very, very well. A best friend I hadn’t seen in over a year was belting out these Hunter Hayes lyrics below. I’d known her for a long time. But this time, watching her, something was different. All of the sudden I felt like I’d known her my whole life and my heart started to beat a little faster.  I was struck with this certainty that she was going to be an important part of my future. And was she actually singing to me? I looked over at my friends and they were all looking at me asking the same question with their quizzical brows. Wait, is she actually singing to you?

“You know I’d fall apart without you
I don’t know how you do what you do
‘Cause everything that don’t make sense about me
Makes sense when I’m with you
Like everything that’s green, girl, I need you
But it’s more than one and one makes two
Put aside the math and the logic of it
You gotta know you’re wanted too
I wanna make you feel wanted”
Then later that night, she walked across the room and kissed me.
You read that right. She. At first when I saw her walking my way, I knew what she was up to, and I thought, ‘oh this isn’t going to end well, this is silly.’ This isn’t what I want for all my very-serious-non-existant-future-plans. Besides, can girls be in a for real relationship anyway? I honestly didn’t know.
With that kiss, and from that night on, every bit of my soul lit up. Like, oh that’s where you have been.
I fell completely in love with Caroline Angela that late Summer. Most of you who already follow me know her as Angie.
I am grateful to the Voice for choosing her at her blind audition. It’s one of those things that’s just meant to be. Yea, it was good for her career, but I think even better for me if I’m honest. It put a distant, important person on California terrain for months during her filming, allowing something so powerful in my life to come to be. Giving us the time together that I don’t know would have really happened otherwise.
 Angie was unexpected. In so many ways I will never be able to verbalize it, and it feels silly to try on flippant broadcasts but I still try. Here was my first post about us…..
Click above to read the whole thing.
Caroline, as I like to call her was God given light. Kindness, when in so many ways, I didn’t deserve it at that time. She sacrifices her time and love to immediately be next to you when you call her, and not just for me, but anyone she loves. In my dark times when I couldn’t sleep she would read to me at night, or tell me stories about us that hadn’t happened yet to calm me down. She let me get really upset with her, when she wasn’t who I should have been upset at. When I was embarrassed about behaving ugly she came to my rescue before I even apologized. “I know who you are” she’d say.
And she stayed and she loved me hard when I felt lost.
She saw me. She understands me. I owe her so much.
 And even more I think she is one of the most incredibly beautiful creatures that walks this Earth. (Or stomps around on it in her boots, if you know her you know what I mean. Watch your toes). Her mind is wired in a different way. She’s an over-thinker, a lost-in-thought-er, a do-er, a tinkerer, a problem solver. She can play anything, sing anything, fix anything, ride anything. She’s walking entertainment. But let’s be real she’s still human. Notice I didn’t say “drive anything” ;).  Her biggest fault in my eyes is that she stops and listens to every sales pitch anyone is willing to give. I know that seems sweet. And it is. But we both know we don’t need a six thousand dollar massage chair, and I have to pee, we were on our way to the bathroom Angie!
She’s ferociously stubborn but at least she knows it, and her fire makes her a light that guides other people’s’ paths. What’s interesting is that she doesn’t even realize it.
You are so incredible Caroline.
Like I said, all I needed was a muse, and to stop thinking I was in total control. To put aside the math and the logic of it.
I’ve pasted one of my faves below. A bit ago I was on a trip and missing home. I asked her to cover her this fave of mine. It was so thoughtful for her to stop what she was doing and do it for me… (then the next month Disney hired her to be their Magic Kingdom firework voice, total coincidence or a dream brought to reality? This Disney fanatic has to believe it wasn’t any coincidence).
Angie and I will be hosting an FB live concert in our living room tomorrow night from her Facebook page. It’s to benefit our dear friend and get her closer to her goal for MS. I would be honored if you joined us!!!


  • Heather Shanahan says:

    This is pretty much the love story we all dream of. It warms my heart to know that it can be real. I’ve been saying for a while now that I’m too selfish to date, but we all want to be wanted. Maybe I won’t write love off entirely just yet.

  • Jill says:

    I’m so happy for the both of you! To find the one the completes you, loves you unconditionally, and someone you can be yourself with is a wonderful thing.

  • Baylee Bolton says:

    My heart is so full reading this. Beautifully told Marissa, thank you for sharing it with us all. I love you guys!

  • Crystal says:

    It’s lovely to hear how much you adore her and she you. xo

  • Karin Schulz says:

    Marissa this is such a lovely story. Love is a grand thing!! Blessings and love to you both.
    PS: Angie, I love your cover of Peter Pan. It made me want to cry, and that is a GOOD thing. Thank you Angie.
    Xoxo love Karin Marie.

  • Jen kerman says:

    This is beyond beautiful. So happy you both have each other

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